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<title>take the oxygen straight out my chest by honeeeylocust</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29484156">take the oxygen straight out my chest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeeeylocust/pseuds/honeeeylocust'>honeeeylocust</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Hiraeths, M/M, evan is just really in love with connor idk, in which i compare Connor to things, just fuckin read it, literally no idea what to tag this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:14:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29484156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeeeylocust/pseuds/honeeeylocust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor Murphy used to be 'beyond this plane of existence.' Or at least Evan's plane. He was far away, barely close enough for Evan to reach out for. A teaser, of some kind, of what could be, what might be. When he stared at him, quick glances over his face like quick little pictures he kept in his heart. Close to his chest.</p><p> </p><p>OR: Evan learns a new word.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>take the oxygen straight out my chest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Enjoy &gt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evan learned a pretty word today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>'Hiraeth', the word is. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Evan has always liked words. He likes the way he can fit them together like puzzle pieces, form poems and beautiful meaning with them. He likes the way they flow off tongues, and he likes the way he has a little voice in the back of his mind that reads everything out for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when he stumbled across this word, he felt it was special to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A homesickness for something, or someone, that never was. That's the definition of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>And Evan thinks about places, about things, about feelings that might be, or might have been, his hiraeth. He thinks and he wonders, picking and poking around his brain, until he comes to a conclusion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connor Murphy used to be 'beyond this plane of existence.' Or at least Evan's plane. He was far away, barely close enough for Evan to reach out for. A teaser, of some kind, of what could be, what might be. When he stared at him, quick glances over his face like quick little pictures he kept in his heart. Close to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Connor started to talk to him, even then, he seemed so far away. Evan was so close, so, so close to grabbing and never letting go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And when he finally reached for it, when he finally had it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connor wasn't unreachable. Wasn't just a fantasy in his mind, a thing to yearn and toss and turn for. Connor became more than that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He became a home that Evan could reach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Evan has learned everything about the house that is Connor Murphy, has learned about the boards that block the windows and the staircase that you have to avoid tripping over to get in. The ice cold feeling you get as soon as you enter, the way the floorboards seem so close to splintering and plummeting you right into the bottom of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>But the core of this house, held up by a rigid plank, flush against your back, is where you should learn to stay. Because Evan got there. Nobody else but one has.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the house is holding Evan close in this warmth that only he can get to, and Evan will curl up and sigh against it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because the house is breathing with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Connor Murphy is breathing with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He's held close, right at his core, and he's breathing with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Evan sighs, letting himself get enveloped into this warmth, this heat, and lets himself forget about the pretty word he learned earlier today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because Connor is not a hiraeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connor is home.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments are appreciated!!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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